My friends and I are leaving the mosque. We just finished our afternoon prayer time. Most of us have worshipped together at this mosque our entire lives. I remember when this mosque was surrounded by fields and now it sits in the center of a large city. At my age, my daily life revolves around the mosque. I try to go five times a day when I am healthy. I spend most of my time with family or talking and playing games with these other guys. All of the families connected to the mosque are like one big family.
I grew up in the city. As a result, I am very accustomed to Han people and their ways. In fact, many of my friends are Han. Although my husband is Hui, his mother is Han. I do not wear a headcovering and I honestly do not think much about my religion. Of course, I do not eat pork, and I enjoy celebrating our Muslim holidays. I have heard about Jesus and about what Christians belief. If I were to believe this, even though my family is not very devout, they would disown me. I was born a Muslim, and therefore I must stay a Muslim.
Sometimes, when you hear a new song, there’s one single line that just gets stuck in your head. For me, “Prayer for the Hui” has one of those lines. Of course, there are clearly God-glorifying, gospel-centered words throughout the song, laying before God our prayer that He would work throughout the world bringing people into His Kingdom. But there was this one line that resonated with me in a profound way and had a huge impact on my thoughts and prayers, because it was so applicable to my own life and my own struggles with sharing the gospel with those I know personally.
Culturally, it is expected that I have to provide a new house and a new car for my wife. I purchased these things to fulfill these expectations. Now, we are in an immense amount of debt. Almost all of the money I make each month goes towards paying off these debts. It has put much strain on our new marriage. Although it seems from the outside that we have nice things, we are struggling to make it financially.
I divorced my husband several years ago. I do not need a man in my life to take care of me, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. In Islam, you’re not supposed to get divorced, but some people, like me, still do it. I am looked down upon in the community and am seen as a bad person. I don’t care though. I like the freedom I have given myself by divorcing my husband. I work hard and am proud of the way that I am able to take care of myself.
