Sometimes, when you hear a new song, there’s one single line that just gets stuck in your head. For me, “Prayer for the Hui” has one of those lines. Of course, there are clearly God-glorifying, gospel-centered words throughout the song, laying before God our prayer that He would work throughout the world bringing people into His Kingdom. But there was this one line that resonated with me in a profound way and had a huge impact on my thoughts and prayers, because it was so applicable to my own life and my own struggles with sharing the gospel with those I know personally.
It just so happens (isn’t it interesting how often we encounter such things in Kingdom work) that a small group of MBBs had recently started meeting in our town for mutual encouragement, study and growth.
Culturally, it is expected that I have to provide a new house and a new car for my wife. I purchased these things to fulfill these expectations. Now, we are in an immense amount of debt. Almost all of the money I make each month goes towards paying off these debts. It has put much strain on our new marriage. Although it seems from the outside that we have nice things, we are struggling to make it financially.
I divorced my husband several years ago. I do not need a man in my life to take care of me, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. In Islam, you’re not supposed to get divorced, but some people, like me, still do it. I am looked down upon in the community and am seen as a bad person. I don’t care though. I like the freedom I have given myself by divorcing my husband. I work hard and am proud of the way that I am able to take care of myself.
Islam is very important to me. I spend a lot of time at the mosque every day. I pray five times a day at the mosque. I sometimes even spend extra time praying. A few years back I went on the hajj. I returned from that experience more devoted to Allah than ever before. Ramadan is sacred. I get up at 3 am every morning to fix breakfast and eat during Ramadan. Then I go pray at the mosque and return home to sleep a few more hours. It is hard fasting for about 16 hours when Ramadan is in the summer. But I do it, and I challenge my family to faithfully fast.
I grew up in the city. As a result, I am very accustomed to Han people and their ways. In fact, many of my friends are Han. Although my husband is Hui, his mother is Han. I do not wear a headcovering and I honestly do not think much about my religion. Of course, I do not eat pork, and I enjoy celebrating our Muslim holidays. I have heard about Jesus and about what Christians belief. If I were to believe this, even though my family is not very devout, they would disown me. I was born a Muslim, and therefore I must stay a Muslim.
