In the span of a day, there are many times when Chinese culture and my culture collide. Cultural awareness is heightened as soon as I walk out the door. Making and building relationships in the midst of conflicting cultural values can be challenging as well. However, Chinese culture is not the only culture I encounter regularly. Within China there are many minority groups who also have their own distinct values and beliefs. One of these groups is the Hui. I have a friend who is a Hui Muslim, and as I interact with her our cultures collide regularly to create small misunderstandings.

At first, I did not know my friend was Hui because she does not wear the traditional clothing and head coverings. After getting to know her, she shared that she was Muslim and chose not to wear the head covering. I learned that she lives in a home shared with her husband and child as well as with her husband’s parents, grandparents and an uncle and child. In the hierarchy of the Hui culture, the mother-in-law is the matriarch of the family. As the daughter-in-law my friend obeys her mother-in-law and seeks to please and help her.

One day I wanted to make plans to meet my friend the next weekend. In my culture, people plan in advance. However, my friend responded saying that she would be able to go if she had the time. I assumed this response meant my friend did not really want to meet me. Frustration began to build as I began to question why she didn’t just come out and say she did not want to go. Why was she not upfront about it?

In a conversation with a local friend, the situation came up, and I shared what was said. My local friend shared how Hui culture is different in this aspect. She shared how my friend’s response was normal. Most likely she would be able to go. However, my friend must be ready and willing to help her mother-in-law at any moment, so it was not possible for her to make plans far in advance. My friend was letting me know that she would come with me as long as her mother-in-law did not need her. I interpreted the conversation based on my culture instead of considering that my friend’s culture had basic values that conflicted with mine.

Prayer Requests

  • Pray for cultural intelligence for workers among the Hui so that they may fully understand their Hui friends.
  • Pray workers among the Hui will have near culture friendships to help them further understand Hui culture.
  • Pray for workers as they deal with culture stress.

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