Islam is very important to me. I spend a lot of time at the mosque every day. I pray five times a day at the mosque. I sometimes even spend extra time praying. A few years back I went on the hajj. I returned from that experience more devoted to Allah than ever before. Ramadan is sacred. I get up at 3 am every morning to fix breakfast and eat during Ramadan. Then I go pray at the mosque and return home to sleep a few more hours. It is hard fasting for about 16 hours when Ramadan is in the summer. But I do it, and I challenge my family to faithfully fast.
I grew up in the city. As a result, I am very accustomed to Han people and their ways. In fact, many of my friends are Han. Although my husband is Hui, his mother is Han. I do not wear a headcovering and I honestly do not think much about my religion. Of course, I do not eat pork, and I enjoy celebrating our Muslim holidays. I have heard about Jesus and about what Christians belief. If I were to believe this, even though my family is not very devout, they would disown me. I was born a Muslim, and therefore I must stay a Muslim.
This is my grandson, Lele. My wife and I are raising him because his parents are in the city trying to make money for a better life. It has been about six months since Lele has seen his parents. They are not able to travel home often. Working in the city is difficult, but there are few jobs in our village. I have lived my whole life in this village. I am a farmer. I thought my son would be a farmer, but machines are taking over farming.
Getting old has been hard. I don’t have any family left. I lost my farm a few years back. I am too old to get a job, so I collect plastics for recycling. I am able to make a little money, but life is hard. I don’t have any money for medicines or to see doctors. I don’t go to the mosque because I am poor and homeless. Sometimes they will give me some money out of charity. Helping the poor is considered a good work in Islam.
I can feel the stares. I can hear their voices. They do not like that I am here. Many do not like that I am Hui. It is evident in the way that they have asked us to remove Arabic writing from our store fronts and how they have made us redesign our places of worship so that they look less Arabic. People who were once dear to me are also beginning to look at me differently.
