As a mom of a gaggle of small children, I can honestly admit that when we are out and about I don’t really pay that much attention to the other people around me. My focus is generally on my kids and making sure that as we travel from Point A to Point B, all heads, hands, and accessories are accounted for.
In the same vein, I also don’t change my parenting style when I’m outside of our home. We thrive on consistency; therefore, we make it a point to encourage, praise, and discipline all in the same manner, no matter our location. Naturally, we are human and fail at this at times. It is in those moments when I snap at my kids that I am fairly thankful the vast majority of those around me speak no English and therefore do not understand my language.
Recently, I was in a small shop near our apartment buying our vegetables for dinner. The young moms working in the shop weren’t busy and decided to strike up a conversation, mostly asking questions about my kids, our schooling choices, and discipline.
As I hear often from local moms, these ladies were lamenting their children’s lack of obedience and their own inability to discipline well. They asked me how exactly I discipline my children, wanting to know specifically if I “hit” them at home, as they’ve never seen me do it in public. Having lived in China for four years, I’ve seen and learned a lot about local discipline here, and hitting (some might say “spanking,” but it differs greatly from what I view as spanking) is a common method of correcting or punishing children. I’ve also found it very difficult to explain the difference in hitting and spanking, when in fact, the words often used here are the same. Therefore, instead of a simple “yes” or “no,” I often have to give a lengthy explanation. I also want to be careful that I do not put myself on a pedestal as a “perfect” mom since I clearly am not, and I also do not want these ladies to lose face in terms of their own cultural norms.
In our conversation, one of the ladies mentioned that my children just listen and obey so well. They noted how I often call them and they come. They mentioned that they can tell, though they don’t speak my language, that I can tell my children to stop doing something and they stop immediately. While I disagree with the “immediately” part, I have to admit that my kids do a pretty good job of obeying. We’re still working on first-time obedience, but in general, they’ve learned the importance, and maybe just the tone of my voice with certain commands, of obeying.
My mind was blown when I left the shop that day. While I’m not paying a lick of attention to those around me most of the time, they’re paying attention to me. They don’t understand my words, but they are watching my actions, my facial expressions, and my body language. It can be overwhelming to realize the amount of attention being given to our family when we’re out and people flock to us, surround us, touch our kids, and ask a million questions. However, when I account for the attention being given by those “in secret,” the responsibility I have to share Christ by my words, actions, and expressions is huge.
This same scenario could (and does) happen around any people in any place in the world. However, in my context, these are young Muslim moms living in a majority-Muslim city. The
Bible is a fountain of wisdom for young moms as it points us to who we are in Christ, how to rear our children to know and fear God, how to discipline in love, and how to serve our families well. The Muslim moms around me don’t have this fountain of wisdom. They don’t have anyone or any book speaking Truth into their hearts as they seek to love their families well. It is humbling to think that my actions, and hopefully even more so my words, may be the first introduction to Christ that some will have.
Would you join me in praying for these young Muslim moms watching me, even when I don’t realize it? Would you also pray for Christian moms like myself to be aware of those watching how we live our lives? Ask for opportunities to speak the Truth of Christ into the hearts of young moms around me. Pray diligently that Christ will be known and glorified in Muslim families.